so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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