also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
