youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
