So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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