I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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