so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
