I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
