so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
