what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
