Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
