I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
