i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
