operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
