How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
