then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You need a sexual gate keeper
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
