i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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