R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
