I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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