normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
even my farts smell like vagina
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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