come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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