Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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