i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize