He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
