I got chris browned last night
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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