I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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