Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
