Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
