I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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