He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
