absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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