Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
