mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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