She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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