I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He did a backflip because drugs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
