That's when you crack a 10am beer
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
