TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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