bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
