Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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