i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
