Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
