Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
