So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Randomize
