im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
