I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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