Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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