just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
