I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize