She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
