physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
