he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
