What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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