Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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