At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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