Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize