you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
