i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
