who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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