I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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