i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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