You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
