At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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