I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
