Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
