you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
