I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
