I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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